Give Love

Since one of my first weekends here, perhaps it was my second, I've been going to a rural area called Mandale that we simply refer to as "William's village" about 35 minutes from my home. William Jacob is a Tanzanian and the head of cleaning at HOPAC. More than that, he is one of the most amazing men I have ever met. His spirit is always joyful, genuine, and thankful, despite many personal hardships. (His wife has miscarried twice and he has had two other children die after just after birth. They continue to hope and pray for a healthy child, and his wife is currently seven months pregnant.) William leads the church in his village, and purposefully chose it's semi-isolated location because it was important for him to reach out to that community.

For the most part, I go to William's village very Saturday morning for a few hours. Marie Christianson, an incredible woman and former housemate, has been helping William run a consistent children's ministry for six months. (I've been involved for four months now.) We play games (relay races!) and do crafts (coloring!) with the kids, who range from itty bitty to teenage. It's awesome to just go and love them every week. Today was especially great because we focused on love in our lives and God's love for us. It was an incredible morning.

As it's two days before Valentine's Day, my TZ bestie Erin Steinhoff had made valentines for the children by cutting hearts out of construction paper and gluing them onto a piece of folded construction paper. Inside each one, she wrote: "[name] Nakupenda! <3, Yesu." In English, "[name] I love you! <3 Jesus." With William translating, the children learned and understood that these were Valentine's Day cards and that they were "from God." They knew to keep them as reminders of His love for us. Marie had prepared photocopied papers that each had an angel with heart-shaped wings. The angel also held a heart in which Marie had written "Upendo kutoka kwa Mungu." Translation: Love comes from God. Above the angel, the verse 1 John 4:7 was written in Kiswahili. The children--all ages--love coloring, and they took much pride using their precious crayons to decorate their heart angel papers.

I'm not a parent, so I admit I can't possibly fully understand what it is like to experience those "first time" moments in the growth of your own child. But today sure came close.

I've fallen in love with a 3-year-old boy named Yahaya, but who I refer to as my "little old man." He never wears a shirt, and his shorts are always a little too big for him. Like almost all the other children around, he doesn't have shoes and runs around the sun-scorched ground barefoot. Somehow, his small, Tanzanian body and posture remind me of Walter Matthau, and his face kind of looks like a grandpa's. When I first met him, about four months ago, he wasn't as big (he has since had a growth spurt!) and was sick for several weeks, as indicated by low energy, a runny nose and sad eyes. Most of our little friends here spoke timidly when they first met us. (There were, of course, some high-energy, go-getters in the group right from the start though.) My little old man was one of the quiet ones.

But today, we reached a milestone. When I walked into the one-room church, he came right up with outstretched arms and spoke to me. For the first time. He spoke to me. I bent down and scooped him up, my jaw gaping but my mouth smiling. I have no idea what he said. I instantly played it over and over in my mind. Words. Some kind of words I could not decipher and probably don't know in Kiswahili yet anyway. By way of grunts or quiet, paired words, my little old man had been laughing and chatting with his older brother (a 13-year-old boy named Ridiwani) for the past few weeks, but today he spoke to me--and in a full sentence. He hadn't even so much as uttered one direct word to me before. Just grins and telling eyes to communicate. Until today. I can only imagine what it must be like for parents to hear their child's first words, for what I experienced this morning was an amazing and unforgettable moment. What a day of love.

xoxo,

Laura



 

Yahaya, my little old man.



Artist: Third Day
Album: Revelations
Song: Give Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjOn5VrrYGc

Whisper softly to me
Share with me your heart
And just ignore the world and what it does
I know that you've been hurting, you've been torn apart
And I pull you close and hold you in my arms

If you give love
I'll return the love and you will see
So much more than you gave away
If you give love
Give it to me

Listen very closely as I sing this song
And please believe that I mean every word
When I say I love you
I mean it with all my heart
Let it be the best thing that you've ever heard
If you give love
I'll return the love and you will see
So much more than you gave away
If you give love
Give it to me

Oh, give it to me
Oh, give it to me

Whisper softly to me
Share with me your heart 

Quotes of the Week 1

I approach the tables of goodies that make up the snackbar at the school's nightime football (soccer) game.
Student 1: Oh, Miss House!
LG: What?
Student 2: [leans over to friend] That's Miss STEINHOFF!
LG: [blank stare]
Student 3: NO you guys! That's MISS GORDON.

hahahahaha I was so amused. I told the third student to find me on Monday and I'd give her a housepoint. LOL

In the bajaj, Erin was on a roll after her Kiswahili lesson of the week.
Erin: [to the driver] Sisi ni walimu hapa. [We are teachers here.]

Later, in another bajaj.
LG: Tell him your line! Say your line to him!
Erin: [to the driver] Sisi ni walimu hapa. [We are teachers here.]


Bajaj driver has had enough of our grammar.
Erin: Unajui?
Driver: [laughs]
Erin: ... unajui ...
Driver: [kinda laughs]
Erin: ... unajui ...
Driver: [sternly] unaJUA
Us: Ohhhhhh

Jen M. walks up with a pretty gift bag.
LG: Ooo, what's in the bag?
Jen: Cheeeeeese!

Totally Backlogged, But Gotta Start Somewhere

Ohhhh do I feel bad about not updating this blog more often. Yikes!! I have good reasons though. Well, OK, fine. Only one good reason that expired almost 20 days ago: My family was here!! SO awesome and SO amazing!! But, let me be honest: As I sit down to write this, I'm coming off of a very disheartening day. For the greater part of the day I have been trying to remind myself of all the numerous blessings God has been providing for me every day. I've been trying to keep those positive thoughts at the forefront of my mind, but I'm still just feeling downright down. Today, two hours before I was scheduled to teach my first journalism course (an elective), I learned it was cancelled because only one student signed up; other students (grade 11-12) signed up for drama, photography, business, etc. It broke my heart. Truly. And, I had just finished putting together an AWESOME intro to journalism PowerPoint on what is media and the role of journalism. I was completely psyched and went from a super high to a super low. Now, as I type, I'm trying to find the balance of somewhere in between again; that good, nay great, place I was in just yesterday.

The best news is my life has been filled with SO MANY things to be thankful for. God is providing and I am SO grateful for His love and grace. I could not be doing any of this without Him. One of the great joys was having my mom, dad and sister come for two weeks over Christmas break. We spent a few days running around Dar, then up to Arusha, next on to safari before returning to Arusha and back home to Dar. A separate post to come on that incredible time!!!

For now, I feel like I should just write what comes to my head. Life feels normal here, so it's hard to pick out exactly what to write about. To me, the following will probably be random thoughts, but for you it will be a good overall of various aspects here, both trivial and not-so-trivial.

I'm eating a lollipop right now. (Score one for trivial!) They are one of my highlights here. It's my last one so gotta go to the store soon. Food here is definitely one of my, well, I wouldn't say challenges, but subjects that make me miss home I guess you could say. Take anything back home in California, take away half the flavor and that's pretty much what everything is like here. I am lucky my family brought me a luggage of goodies, which I'm consuming sparingly because when they're gone, they're gone! I might sound ghetto revealing this, but one of the first places I want to eat when I get home is Sizzler. I miss lettuce soooooooo much and dream of eating salads again!! Oh and those diced ham bits on top! You can occasionally find lettuce here, but it is a real pain to clean it (i.e. prep by soaking in bleach water, etc.) and to be sure it's totally rid of bacteria.

Speaking of bacteria, I have been so lucky (*knock on wood!!*) that I have had pretty darn good health here. I'm always scared to say (or write) such things because I don't want to jinx myself. I will admit that for the past three and a half months I have been holding my breath waiting for something really stressful or extremely challenging to happen. It hasn't. Thanks be to God!! Oh, and can I get an AMEN for dropping a pant size? Hooray! I eat so much less here; smaller portions, less snacking, fresher meals, lots of water. And of course sweating and walking to/from/around school add to it too!

I love our house lady. (No transition there, sorry.) We have two actually. Esther comes three times a week and cleans and bakes bread, and Jacki comes once a week to cook. We've only had Jacki make fruit salad so far, but boy is that an effort. Everything, especially food prep, takes longer here, and fruit especially takes time. I rejoice having these two beautiful, hardworking women in my home. I especially love when I come home to a bed that is made so crisply that someone would think it was ironed. (I only have a tight sheet and a loose sheet for my bedding here; no comforters or duvets--no way!) But more than the perfectly made bed is how adorable it is to see my Stitch doll (a la "Lilo & Stitch") propped up in difference places. Esther and Jacki do an incredible job taking care of my home and I am so thankful. Sometimes items in my bedroom will be moved around and I smile because I think it's entertaining for them to redecorate and see all the different ways the can style the room. Just the other day when I came home from school, I entered and said "hodiii" (may I enter) and Esther, in a happy and high-pitched voice, sang from the kitchen "karibuuu!" (welcome) They are great women.

The heat has not been bad except for the last week of December/first week fo January. I think it was because Arusha was cold (i.e. 70 degrees) and my body wasn't into getting thrown back into the high temperatures and humidity. I actually don't notice how humid it is until, like the other night, I realize my body is so drenched I literally have to take out a towel and dry myself off. That was the other evening when I was getting ready to go out. I don't use the air conditioner in my bedroom. Never had A/C at home, so I don't totally know what I'm missing. Plus, I always wanted a ceiling fan and using that lets me keep my two sets of windows open so I can enjoy the view from my room. But, I definitely notice (and struggle with) the heat when the power goes out at school. We don't use the air conditioners when we are getting power from the generator, so when I'm in my office (sans fan), I sit there and just soak in my own sweat. Lesson planning is impossible and grading is totally out of the question. I just cannot think straight! However, when Heather (the grade 6-8 English teacher) isn't teaching in our English classroom, I can move my office work in there because the ceiling fans are rockin'. I also get hot when I walk home from school and the sun is blazing down on me. TZ is like 11 degrees south of the equator or something, so the sun's strength is major. Shade is awesome here! Oh, and cloud cover!! I love mornings when I walk to school in the "shade" because the sun is hiding behind the big ol' clouds.

God has been good in answering prayers. One of my goals for the new year (no "resolutions" this year, just "goals") was to enjoy my classes more. Not that I wasn't enjoying them; I was. I just knew that I could really appreciate my lessons, teaching and students more. And I have been. The month is half over and every class period I have ended with a smile on my face. I feel like my students are learning more, too, so that is very rewarding. I am planning on starting a creative writing club and eventually publish a student literary journal, complete with a "book launch" affair that will be a collaboration between the English, art and music departments. Kind of like a night of the arts! Also want to do a speech and debate club.

However, time is working against me. Term 2 and term 3 go so fast. In fact, between April 1 and May 6, I only have 12 teaching days with my students in grades 10-12 (due to Service Emphasis Week and spring break). May 6 is their last day at school before the go on home study leave for end-of-the-year examinations. I will be teaching my grade 9 until the last day of school, June 17. The next six months are going to fly by, and I already feel like the last day of school will get here and I will be saying "it's all over?!?!?!" I had actually been dreading my family leaving because then it would leave a six-month abyss before me. However, God had other plans and I am doing great and receiving amazing news every day. In fact, Dave is coming to see me!! He leaves San Diego on my birthday (March 24 for those of you playing along at home) and arrives in Dar two days later on Erin's (my roomie's) birthday! Just in time for the parrrtayyy! Haha He is staying an incredible two weeks and I thank God for this opportunity for him and for me and for us.

I am happy here, to say the least. I give every day up to God and He gives me the strength and the patience and the ability to carry on. Not just carry on, but to live. A life here is not easy, and I by no means mean to make is appear so. However, with constant thankfulness I am able to enjoy this Tanzanian life and feel like I belong. Life is normal, and I love it.

L

Photo Post: Housewarming Party

A wonderful housewarming party was organized for us the Saturday we moved across the compound from the tembo house to the twiga house. Even though it had only been inhabited for less than a day, the house already felt like a home by having good people gathered in it. (Nov. 13, 2010)

An overview of the party in our downstairs living room/dining room.

Background to foreground from back left: Erin, Marie, Kate, Steve, Dyan and Lisa.

Left to right: Ben, Mary, Jen and Heather.

A pretty package of cleaning supplies!

Kitchen wares!

Placemats, plant and cutting board!



Rug/mat for upstairs living room!



Opening up the cleaning bucket!

We're excited with all our generous gifts!

Proof of Erin's "crazy face." LOL

Friends again! Ben, Mary, Jen, Heather and Lisa.

Housemates' first night at home! Kate, Erin and me.

December in Dar

Tomorrow is HOPAC's Christmas Fair and Tanzania's Independence Day (i.e. no school). I plan on grading, grading, grading. Because the next few days (perhaps week) are going to be so busy, I thought I'd post a quick update now.

I'm getting over a cold (as I sit here sniffing) and today was a crazy day. Things have been really busy because Term 1 grades are due on Monday and the grading system is insane. And I'm still grading assignments, nevermind attempting the calculation system. So, it's going to be a crazy few days for me as I want to try to get ahead of the grading because I have a ton of more grading to do that's due Jan. 7 and that's for the Grade 10 mocks. They sat for (practice) exams this whole week and I have about five essays per student to grade (read: 110). Ugh. And that grading scale is even more insane than the regular one. Lots to learn. Don't want to have to do it or worry about it over Christmas break.

We (Erin, Kate, Carley, Jen and I) went to see a play, "The Wizard of Oz," tonight. There's a place called The Little Theatre and they do productions. Two of my students were in it. Cute. Nice to get out for a change.

I played my first-ever soccer game today. 'Tis true! A bunch of athletes are going up to Moshi (near Arusha) for a sports weekend against other leagues from around the country, and as a send off to them the afternoon periods were shortened and the last 40 minutes of school we had staff vs. girls/boys soccer game. I played! OK, so I only kicked at the ball three times (and missed twice), but I made contact once and kicked it so I "officially" played in the game! LOL I think my position was left defense... IDK if that even makes sense. I played during the game against the girls team. We won (2-1). It was pretty fun. Would have played/tried a lot more, but with this cold I was like, um, not willing to take a step back with my progress just for the match.

And it rained today! Yesterday and today were much cooler because of the clouds layering the sky and blocking the sun. What a difference. Tonight, just as we left for the play, it rained. Loved it! We sang "Let It Snow," like a Dar version, on the way for a few minutes.

At the grocery store (Shoprite) two days ago I bought an artificial tree! It's 120 cm, however big that is. I haven't taken it out of the box yet. It was on clearance because the box is all ripped and banged up so I got it for 8,000 tsh which is like $5!! Probably going to set it up in my room tomorrow.

With the power out again last night (although not according to the "schedule"), Erin, Kate and I brought Christmas into our home by candlelight. I decorated our lil' Christmas tree while they bedecked the house with holiday cheer. It's truly December in Dar.

Thanks to everyone who is reading about my life here and for those who are keeping me in their thoughts and prayers. Please pray for traveling mercies for family and friends coming to and leaving TZ as everyone will be going their separate ways in a week's time. Please pray for the country's power (electricity) and for the water supply. Prayers of praise for cloudy weather and Christmas memories.

Love,

LG

PS: Emails count as Christmas cards! Please send! LOL

Living Matthew 7:12

For me, one of the most challenging parts of living in Tanzania isn't the heat. It isn't the language barrier or the currency exchange or even the indefinite power outages. What it is, really, is not being able to go anywhere by myself and, in effect, having to rely on other people to be able to do what I desire to do. Yes, there are some places I could venture myself, but most places are a little too far to travel solo. And when I think of going alone, I think about how I am, even slightly, lowering my safety level and I wonder if it's worth it. So far, no. Instead, I find something else to do and fight off disappointment because in-room entertainment is the order of the day (or night)--again.

What's difficult is not being able to go to a restaurant or a coffee shop when I feel like it. Or not being able to drop off fabric at the tailor down the street because there's no one to walk with me. Or not being able to go buy a T-frame for my bed's mosquito net because no one is available to accompany me in a bajaj to the next little town, perhaps a one-hour excursion start to finish. The "daily life" tasks that are dependent upon having another person around.

These last few days I've felt like a bit of a grump. Finally, now midweek, I've realized the reason why. There are a variety of emotions that go with it (disappointment, frustration, patience, grace), but I think I'm just a little bit sad that I'm so on my own in a place where that "lone" factor unfortunately results in a limited lifestyle.

Don't get me wrong. God has been blessing me countlessly with companionship and convenient opportunities to go and get things done. But what about when it stops being convenient? For me, I came into this experience knowing I would need others to help me, and I committed myself to helping fellow expats whenever and however I am called upon. It's not always about being willing and able. Here, I believe, it's about just being able.

Should I be asked, I will always accompany someone for a bajaj ride (or car ride) to the mall, to the grocery store, anywhere. I will always make plans with someone who seeks a partner (barring no previously arranged commitments), be it to go to a restaurant, a coffee shop, the tailor, the fruit duka, furniture hunting, whatever. I will offer my time and assistance because I am able.

What has been disappointing to me (and led to my recent case of the grumpies) is that I do not find such availability in the people around me.* Now, yes, people have their own lives, schedules, commitments. I am slowly growing mine. But such availability is not what I am referencing. By availability, I mean having the right combination of flexiblity and ability to help someone. I am available to the people around me. I am flexible and able to assist others, even when it's not convenient. Note "not convenient" doesn't necessarily equate to inconvenient. I'm not expecting people to inconvenience themselves. Living in a completely different country has enough inconveniences of its own. And I'm not expecting people to help me just because helped them. It just goes back to being able and being flexible.

Considering we're all pretty much in the same boat (eek, pardon the cliche), I am amazed at the situation I find myself in. We are all starting our new lives here (although some have been here a few years; adjustments are always on-going) and I see many of us building in various directions. God made us all so different, and yet we were all called here. I feel especially called to be out among the community and really connecting with native Tanzanians. I can honestly say that I am not totally fulfilled working at HOPAC. I absolutely love the school, the students and the staff, and I am happy I am here, but I know I am called to do more rural or poverty-based work. I see students in green and white uniforms walking from the school down the road and I get so excited to see them. What I felt in my heart while teaching at Nkoaranga Vocational Centre near Arusha is so different than what I feel here in Dar. I don't know if I can explain it yet, but I know that as I build my life here, I need to find a consistent way to connect to a native community. I am sure that will bring me much joy.

I also want to go out more and experience more culture around the city. I just want to experience more. Some people I have met are very content with a HOPAC-focused life. Some people use up all their time and energy with their job here. I want more than that. I am not here just for a job, and that is why I sometimes end up feeling frustrated, as I'm trying to fight off a stationary lifestyle. Today was an unexpectedly crazy day. I felt like all day I was going here and there and covered every inch of campus. Today was supposed to be my easy day. Today I was supposed to be free of teaching by 10:20 a.m. and spend the rest of the day grading. Didn't happen. But that is OK. And after work, when my right eye started being kinda fuzzy and was burning slightly, I said "yes" to a walking companion request. My tiredness and other ailment weren't so dire or important that I couldn't put forth the effort to meet someone else's needs. What are my time, effort and energy worth when it comes to lightening someone's load or easing someone's burden? The answer is in Matthew 7:12: "In everything do to others as you would have them do to you..."

LG

*This said, I have also met some of the most generous, exemplary people right here in Dar. There is no shortage of God's love in many of the people I have met, and I am thankful for them.

A TZ Thanksgiving

My Thanksgiving didn't start with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. My Thanksgiving started with a bajaj bumpin' Eminem's latest single and passing Maasai warriors on the street.

Erin and I went to Dyan and Steve Larmey's house, where we celebrated with 29 other folks and gorged ourselves on turkey (white meat, hooray!), stuffing (delish), sweet potatoes (yes, I know!), REAL cranberries, and even a few pies. All day it didn't feel like Thanksgiving (um, hi, I went to school and taught), but I kept sharing joyful "Happy Thanksgiving" wishes to all my fellow Americans on campus. Tonight, I was blessed by the Larmey family with a true-blue Thanksgiving meal (minus Gramma's epic shrimp cocktail, of course), and I am thankful for the fellowship I was so lucky to experience. Americans, Tanzanians, Brits, all were most welcome (karibu sana), and it was amazing to meet many new faces for the first time and still feel like we were, for this night, a family.

Happy Thanksgiving to all the ones I love back home!! Miss you Gordons, Grovers, Partches and Bechters! (And Hollingsworths across the miles!)

Erin and I in the Eminem-enhanced bajaj.

Table for 31?

God gave me a little nudge of home when I saw we all had nameplates. <3

A Larmey family thankfulness turkey. It reminded me of the one we have at home. I made it when I was little and labeled every feather "fether."

Erin and me before dinner.

Mary and me. She lives on the compound, too, with her husband who's the school's sports coordinator. They coach swim together.

Turkey anyone? Erin, Dyan and me.

Apple pie and pumpkin pie. Post feast, I had only enough room for one bite of Erin's slice of pumpkin pie.

The bird.
(Notice the African drums in the upper right corner.)

My place at the table. My nameplate turkey-shaped cookie is orange, just above my plate.

About to sit down to dinner.

Dyan and me.

Marmalade!! The Larmey family's pet goat. I finally got a photo of her! She's on the first-floor patio railing.

Forgot to wear this over to dinner! Took a photo and wore it around my room when I got home. Oh, Target dollar bins.

My right leg in its pink-spotted glory. My body total is up to 21 bug bites today. Happy Thanksgiving!! Haha

Feeling especially grateful for my supportive family and boyfriend and for God's daily presence in my life. I couldn't do any of this without them.

Much love,

LG